So we had our first visit to the hospital together after my wife gave me a scare and I came back in awe. I must say that the visit was an eye opener for me and I was brought closer to my child thanks to the doctors.
With the aid of a fetal Doppler, I could hear the heart beat of my child. It came out loud and listening to that steady breath touched me in a way I cannot describe. I literally felt the world pause and focus on the sound of a child breathing and oblivious to the troubles of the world.
Then I felt guilt as I pondered if I am cut out to be a father? If I want to be responsible for a human being! Sigh!!!. I got on the phone and called my dad just to hear him speak and I marveled at him.
My father definitely has experience raising a child but was he prepared to become a father? Did he have anyone telling him how to go about caring for a child and making decisions for a child that would impact on the child’s future?
These questions flirt at the edge of my mind as I steel myself for the vagaries of fatherhood.
Right now I am looking forward to the next visit to the doctor’s but I am nervous. Would I want to go through the turmoil of doubting my father skills? I sure want to go through this period to form a closer bond with my child, and I believe it is worth it.
To my unborn child, I cannot wait to hold you in my arms. I know the world is a harsh place, but I will shield you from it and be your cannon fodder. I love you
A father to be shares what it means to look forward to having a child of his